That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
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