Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
Randomize
