I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
Randomize
