Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
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