There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
I'm upset that MJ died and all but waking up to his face on my HDTV in the middle of the night while half-asleep is pretty much the scariest fucking thing ever.
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
Randomize
