I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Randomize
