and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
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