:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
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