I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
I'm at the gym. I've taken enough caffeine to feel inspired to be a low budget instagram fitness model. I totally forgot my push up bra though
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
Randomize
