so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
Randomize
