so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
Randomize
