Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
I need a burrito and a hug.
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
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