Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
Randomize
