So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
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