If i could tip my vagina, i would.
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
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