you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
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