Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
Randomize
