She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
You pole danced in your parka.
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
Randomize
