dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
I would ride that face into the sunset
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
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