i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
Randomize
