***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
I went to an adult Halloween party last night dressed as Mrs. Doubtfire, but I woke up on a stranger's couch surrounded by sleeping children in karate gi's. And I accidentally flushed my granny wig mid-puke, so if they wake up I'm gonna have to convince them that I'm just a weird older man and not a terrible cross dresser.
How did you come to this point in your life?
Good bartenders.
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
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