I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
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