I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
there is another microwave in the elevator.
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
Randomize
