We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
Randomize
