Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
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This is sufficient.
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
I have post one night stand depression
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize
