Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
Randomize
