she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
Randomize
