Well apparently he's into motor boating.
so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
Randomize
