I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
Why is there broken glass in my purse?
You stole a snow globe. From your VP. Soooo...maybe don't put all your hopes on that promotion you were expecting
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
Randomize
