I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
Randomize
