This girl is more easily done than said...
There is a strange man mowing my lawn. Best day ever.
Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
So the next time I search for "Dragon Dildo" on my phone, I should probably clear the browser before handing my phone to someone and that's the first thing they see haha
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
Randomize
