Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
Randomize
