What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
Randomize
