Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
That's how pantless uber rides happen
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
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