he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
Randomize
