Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
Randomize
