I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
Randomize
