Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
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