i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
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