he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
I use my feet as sexual weapons
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
Randomize
