Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
I set the bag of cheetos on the open box on my coffee table while I was watching TV. I was so high I ate half of the styrofoam peanuts in the box by accident. Am I going to die?
I hope so
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
We were destined to go to rehab together
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
Randomize
