I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
Randomize
