Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
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