David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
Randomize
