In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
Randomize
