i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
Randomize
