He chugged from a bottle of wine and then we had pretend sex
How do you have pretend sex?
It was bad...so it was pretend
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
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