What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
Randomize
