Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
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