My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
Randomize