Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
So it's my mom's birthday and I wanted to be super cheap and just walk up to her and say "I got you the greatest gift ever, mom! I'm actually sober right now!".
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
Randomize