sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
i think im in europe. pls send help
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
Randomize
