it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
Randomize
