Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
Randomize