Plan B is the new Plan A
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
Randomize
