I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
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