NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
Randomize
