I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
Randomize
