There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
