i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
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