I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
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